Brown Penny

The CakeStory May 12, 2013

So, it was Mother’s Day, today, yet again. Hence, it was really inane of you if you did not expect a post from me on this day, after all there are only two days in the whole year that I love the most – Mother’s Day and my Mom’s Birthday! (Actually three! My birthday too! – #Narcissism , but anyways. ) So, although a little late, I did turn up to scribble some more on my blog. (Applause! )

My two day gift for my Mom was implemented successfully , and I know she really was happy from it (well, at least that’s what her expression showed). Now, for all those who know what it was, I know, you all would be smiling too, and for those who don’t, yeah, continue wearing that pokerface expression.

Umm, so, what more should I write to make you keep reading this post, still. Oh, okay! The *CakeStory*.

Here goes..

There was a little girl, who loved cakes. Making them, decorating them, eating them, so she decided to give all her dedication towards the *art* of baking. Years passed by, she grew up, but her passion for baking still remained the same. She decided to start her own patisserie, so that people would be happy, and of course she would too (but apparently people weren’t). She went to France to channelize her passion, and to improvise her skills too. After years of hardwork, finally, she was able to start her own little patisserie. Though small, she was happy with it, and the people in her neighborhood were happy too. After all, that’s what she had ever wanted. And they all lived happily ever after. End of story.

Oh, please. (Stop running your imagination right here, I’m getting diabetes because of you! )

Simply, cutting to the chase. I made cake. Everybody ate cake.

END OF STORY.

P.S.: My keyboard’s key ‘a’ and ‘!’ are not working , so only I know what “hard work” I’ve put into writing this post. (Okay, okay, now stop clapping! ) Really, these two keys are very important in typing. New Laptop Time. #Yayy.

On a serious note, maybe someday, I’ll leave all the materialistic pressures aside, just to follow what gives me pure happiness.

Fruitarianism — #CrashDiet April 11, 2013

Alright, ya, the word is stolen from today’s HT newspaper, but then, I had no idea that they would steal my idea of a crash diet on the same day as I thought to begin one! (Darn you theifs! ) But, oh what the hell, I got a title for my post!

It has been over a month since someone (Vidit Bahal) told me something weird. Yeah weird. It was- Lose 5 kilos in 3 days! And it was then when it caught me that it’s not possible. So, I asked for more details about it.

The regime to be followed was choosing any one fruit, from the entire range of fruits (yes, the fattening banana too! ), and having just that and nothing else, for 3 consecutive days. Okay, okay, before you start dilating your eyes along with a remark- “Having just one fruit the whole day, for 3 days, it’s completely crazy !”- lemme make it clear. The person can have as many portions of that fruit as he/she wants throughout the day (that is, whenever you feel hungry, eat that fruit. Again, whenever you feel like munchin’ something, eat that fruit!) So, it can be 8 apples or even 10 bananas or whatever, according to your choice. But, along with that, the person needs to take an hour walk too.

So, it was right when I thought of saying that we should try it out, I was challenged that I wouldn’t be able to do it (yeah, I know, CRAVINGS ), but you challenge me something and I don’t prove you wrong? That ain’t happening, dude! Since then, I have been wanting to say those two words (which two words? Oh, you’ll know ), but something or the other had kept be busy. But, now that I have been able to take out 3 days, I finally have been able to say it — CHALLENGE ACCEPTED !

The fruit that I have chosen is Orange ! So, it’s oranges for me all the way for 3 consecutive days! Let’s see if I’ll be able to make it or not (which I’m pretty sure, I will be, because of my already weird eating habits! )

#Crash Diet is something really stupid and nobody should ever try it. Not only do you deprive your body of the many essential nutrients, but also you make your body prone to many medical problems. If I was not challenged, I would have never done it. (Some people would not believe me, okay call me stupid, then, but please don’t try it.)

Oh c’mon, nobody can call me stupid, Navratras have begun today, remember? So, it’s just the Navratras fast for me!

Livin’ in Delusion? April 5, 2013

What do you guys think, is living in delusion better or living with the knowledge of the truth? I know it’s a subjective question and I’ll leave your opinions to you, to ponder upon later on (after reading this! ).

Okay, for the past one month I have been trying, I don’t know what, ways and methods to impress this.. umm, what should we call it, okay let’s give it a hypothetical name as.. ET ( I’ll tell you why this name in the end, but leave it for now and read on). So, wooing ET is not an easy task. ET can easily differentiate between pretense and genuinity (really? :/ ). ET is the most handsome thing I’ve ever seen. Though, ET never asked me to do anything for him, uhh, but I still wanted to do it anyway. Why, you ask why? Well, wasn’t it the whole thing why it all started- trying to impress ET ?! Anyway, so continuing. In my process of impressing ET, I.. Okay, so after having dodged like thousand questions by my friends and family, which by the way, worked so well that guys, you didn’t even have the slightest of doubts on my strangeness (Yes, believe me.), I, hereby, reveal them for the first time. #AndDon’tLaugh. So, in my process of impressing ET (or basically proving it to him), I promised him no booze, no chicken (fish, meat, prawns, shrimps, duck, octopus.. humans.. Yes, EVERYTHING! :@) for me, and performing certain scheduled tasks everyday ! (Aaah, hard.) So, people, when you asked me each time the past month and when I said, “No, you guys binge on the fried chicken, I don’t want to”, it didn’t mean that I didn’t want to, it meant I COULDN’T !! I COULDN’T !! :@ When you offered me the Feni and I refused :’( , again I COULDN’T !! I COULDN’T !! Yes, yes, in the “hope” of impressing ET, and  also proving it to him.
But, as it is, it is only me who is always dumb enough to think that promises are true, while they totally aren’t, and so wasn’t this one too. Huh. I COMPLETED ALL MY TASKS OKAY, I SHOULDA ALSO GOT TO SEE YOUR TASK IN RETURN, Liar ! But… I didn’t. Today morning, was the end of my challenge, when I expected to see the stuff in return, but.. I didn’t. At first, I was so annoyed, that I could be termed as the next angry-young-(wo)man, and I uttered all this- @%#%%%@ x 100, but then later on I realized, what I actually felt was as if a huge load had got off my head ! The past month had been this month, full of anxiety, where I couldn’t eat, sleep, drink, or even think (yes, this was my reason for saying- “My brain is not working these days!”, (and no, these are not the cliche’ symptoms of Looove, please, don’t even begin your thinking there, I don’t believe in that crap.), because there was hope, hope of being able to finally impress ET. And now.. sure, there is no hope, but one thing is affixed too, that is, there is no anxiety of ‘will I be able to, will I not be able to’ too, I have not felt this free in months, believe me, though I officially took on this arduous challenge just last month, but I have sort of been on probation for the past 4 months (Gosh, I did what not ! ), and today, snap, all over. Gawd, today I broke so many of my self-made-rules , haven’t felt more awesome! 3:D And also, I had Chicken Shawarma (boohoo, without you guys ! ) (Read: Evil Laughter).

So, what my conclusion with this was, that though living in the hope of getting something might always seem tempting, because obviously, it ‘might’ give you what you’ve always wanted, but it ‘might’, there is a BIG 5 letter ‘might’ that keeps you hanging in between. And I’d rather be on one safe boat, than be in a rocket that ‘might’ take me to the moon.

Well, so what’s my point in this post? Oh! I forgot to mention in the beginning, that actually THIS was my challenge, to ramble nothingness on and on, and take 15 minutes of your life.

What? Don’t believe me? Seriously !
What, still wondering, who actually is ET (My crush? My new pet? My family member? Or someone else? ) , and why “ET”? Well, I’ll tell you why. Because he is extra-terrestrial, extra-dreamy, and out-of-the-world ! Now, keep guessing, and tell me who do you think he was !  :D

The Year That Was! December 31, 2012

Before the year 2012 says it’s final goodbye, I want to quickly gather it’s pieces together and well, DEFINE 2012, what it had been, what it could have been, for all of us, and ya for me as well.

Well, to start with, 2012 was surely the year of change. The year demanding for a revolution. The year where inhumanity lost all it’s bounds and where people stepped above their casts, religions, to come together for various causes, well some for the betterment and some for the worse as well. Okay, I think you all might have started guessing as to what I am talking about here. But, before you guess further, let me write it clearly here. It began with the Anna Hazare hunger strike, demanding for a better government, which united the whole nation, from children to adults, together. (Well, it might have ended up in controversies, but it surely, gave us one thing, that UNITED WE STAND.) And now coming to the main point. Well, I had been asked by many people to write on this incident, as they wanted to hear what I wanted to say, they wanted me to let everything out. Well, I didn’t do it for so many days, for a reason. Yes, I was scared. Scared of besmirching my country’s reputation globally, scared of being mocked at being an Indian in future, well I’m not scared anymore. As told by someone, I too believe, that we all are humans first, and Indians, Americans, Africans later on. And because of some people, who give up their priveledge of being humans, by turning to animals, we cannot be ashamed of our existence. I have been saying it a lot lately, but I AM NOT. The incident that happened in the city this month, not only shocked the country, but also the whole world, yes it makes me scared as a female, but then it doesn’t stop me from fighting! My heart sobs, and at the same time it is filled with anger, anger that can make a change, and I believe will. As 2012 ends keeping us hanging without any justice, I have faith that 2013 will bring in the required justice that we all have been waiting for. Well, after all if the whole country shouts together, the government ought to hear, right? (Remembering a dialogue from a movie, which I hope you’ll recognize- ये लोग बहरे हो गये थे, इन्हें धमाके की ज़रूरत थी । )

Besides this, well 2012 off everything else, was THE hyped year, of course because of it’s ‘doomsday’. Although, I never believed in that (and I believe none of us did), but still it was hyped. I don’t know for what reason. So, ya 21/12/2012 ended, and we all are still alive, who cares, big deal. Anyway.

Okay, now coming to me. For me, this year had been like a journey of its own (like every other year ), where I cried to my maximum and laughed to my maximum as well. Yea, I had some hellishly infernal experiences, which I don’t even wanna remember ever again (God! Gives me *goosebumps* still ), but well, everything teaches you well in the end right, and I’m glad that I learned and experienced that crap so early, so that I am cautious in the future. Anyway, (why should I give importance to crap, right?) I would define 2012, for me, as- The year of *hardwork*. Never in my life, have I been so dedicated to achieve something, and well this year taught me that. So, you lose some, you gain some, right?
On the advice of my sister, I gained back some long lost friendships, that I truly treasure! (Believe me guys! I really do! :P )

And oh of course, after four tediously long years, this was the year which made me experience singlehood again! Yes really! Feels like I’ve just stepped out of prison finishing my term, and believe me, I’m never going to give this freedom up again and commit the same mistakes, that land me in prison again.

So, all in all, this year taught me few very important things for the future. That. Don’t give a crap to people who think evil about you, because there are millions who you don’t even see, who really care about you. Give importance to your life as well, make the most of it, have your goals, be true, and you will achieve them. And well, the most important, never give up on singlehood again, puhleeez!

For 2013, all I wanna say is that I’m really *excited*, ‘coz it will change everything, and it’s high time, I really wanna experience change.

*HAVE A PROSPEROUS YEAR AHEAD!!*

The Best Christmas Gift <3 December 25, 2012

What makes Christmas so special? I know some would say the gifts we get on this day; the snow and the chill; the carols; and of course the Christmas tree and the lights. No doubt, I love Christmas for all of these reasons as well. But, for me it is family, our family that makes Christmas so special.

Ever since I was a kid, Christmas time had always been one of the most awaited time of the year for me. On every Christmas eve, I used to decorate a Christmas tree, draw a Christmas card for Santa ( yeah, I too was one of the kids, who believed that Santa was actually there ), keep it under the tree, and sleep early, waiting for my Christmas gift to be kept under the tree by Santa in the night. And the first thing in the morning, I used to rush to find my gift kept right there. It was the happiest feeling that I used to wait for the whole year to experience. Then, of course, were my school Christmas parties and the carols, which made it all the more special.

Even though, I have grown up now and I very well know that the Santa in my house were my parents who exactly knew what I wanted and gave that to me in the form of Christmas gifts, Christmas still holds a very special place inside me. Well, since it started being special for me because of my family, so for me the essence of Christmas lies in family. And that’s what I did this Christmas!

After ages, I brought my family together on the same dining table to have the Christmas dinner that I made and organized as well. It required lot of pleading (and pestering too ) to make all of them free and clear their schedules just for one day. And what was to follow, loads of talks, lots of catching up, and a family bond growing stronger. A family that never seemed a better family than this day.

And for me, loads of memories to cherish and keep with myself. Well, surely this was my best Christmas gift till date!

Oh! And now for the photographs, of some of the yummy dishes that I cooked (and the compliments I got from my family for them, made it all the more special ).

Rum and Plum Cake, Christmas Roast and Stuffed Chicken (in clockwise order )

Gingerbread Men!

Well, I love this time of the year; and just like the above *smiling* Gingerbread Men, I hope everybody keeps smiling as well and have a Merry Christmas !

A Leason Learned December 9, 2012

One thing that I have realized is, that everything that happens in your life, is for a reason.
Okay I met the wrong people, saw my fun being made for nothing by people who called them my friends, but that only helped to give me something in return, it made me stop being stupid enough to trust people blindly. And then yesterday, I experienced an incident which shook me so much from inside that has made me to look with suspicion at every person that passes by. Only when I was thinking, “why me”, I got the answer. Everything happens for a reason.

I haven’t been behaving very nicely with my family, and after the end of yesterday, I realized that it’s your family that will always be there for you, and not anyone else. We may resort to other people while being angry with our family, thinking that they understand you, but actually they don’t. Because for others, your problems is only a medium of their entertainment, and when you really need someone, they won’t turn up to you; it is your family that always will. I very well realized that yesterday.

The incident was also a spank on me, that I need to be more alert, sort of a preparatory drill for me for the future. God plays and teaches us in his own secret ways.

And to those fake people who only give you their ear for their own entertainment, let’s give them the f*****, oops, let’s give them a moment of silence. May their soul rest in peace. 

8/12/2012 December 8, 2012

आज  मैं बहुत डर गयी थी ।

It’s strange, I have been a tough girl, suffering everything that life gave me and yet managing to survive. But today, one incident just shook me completely. Froze me. And now, I feel scared even at the mention or thought of it. The picture is so clear in my head, that I don’t think I can ever forget. I have been so strong that I used to go places on my own with no fear, and now, even thinking of it results in a palpitating heart and goosebumps.

मैं कभी घर से बाहर ही नहीं निकलूंगी अकेली ।

I’m scared.

Finally, My Lemon Delicious! December 7, 2012

With egg smell filled in my hands and flour stuck in my hair, I bring the golden delight out of the oven. As the lemony-gooey smell flows through the room, I wonder is it my nose that needs repair or does it really smell that good. No! No! Finally, I made my lemon delicious ! Success!

Well, for all that hype, I waited for two long months to make it, and successfully! The delicious- Delicious!

Lemon Delicious Pudding!

In the meantime, as the year is coming to an end, it is the time of giving and receiving happiness, be it in the form of gifts, surprises or just love. Everybody gets their share of happiness for the year. And I got mine, a few days back, the kind of happiness that I had never experienced before.
Yeah, the feeling was ecstatic. :’)
Maybe that was really my lemon delicious!

Photographs of Time November 5, 2012

Sometimes the memories are so strong that you just cannot stand old photographs. Have been keeping myself away from viewing them from so long, that it fooled me in believing that I was strong enough (and indifferent) now, but as it is- I’m not. Finally, succumbed to browsing through them, and everything came flooding back like the merciless Sandy. A photograph surely has the power to stop your heart all over again.

God !! Winter has its side effects too, and really strong ones. :(

~People change, but memories don’t.
People disappear, but memories won’t.~

Broken Pieces of Glass November 3, 2012

Those tiny broken pieces of a long-lost mirror that found their way into a hidden crevice, as she remembered him coldly walk out of the door, sometimes playing games on light, sometimes reflecting those unguarded blemishes she had chosen to be in denial about; like a memory that got lost in the din of that night she will never forget, a conversation that changed everything as it stood. A memory she had earnestly convinced herself was just another hallucination: it made her story a lot simpler, a lot easier to weigh against on her inbuilt moral scale. Sometimes it doesn’t take a furtive peephole discovery to torch down your carefully constructed illusion; the ‘secret’ can be all around you, cracking up in your face, daring you to accept a truth that will tarnish irreparably an image you have in your head. The question is how far are you willing to push yourself in order to keep an impression unscathed, the question is why, in the first place, is it so important to you. The answers to which she couldn’t find between carpal tunnels and charcoal trails. If developing her own brand of dysfunctional was growing up, maybe she had finally come of age.

It was the last train for the day. She scrambled up the staircase and slid down the ramp cutting through the unfriendly faces. There was a throbbing wound somewhere inside her, and a feeling of closure overwhelmed her as she closed her eyes and sliped on a ‘reserved for ladies’ seat. Guilt, as most people misconstrue, isn’t a parasite; it actually maintains a symbiotic relationship with the hostess, who thrives on it as much as it loves sucking on her. Pain is synonymous with redemption, and every prickle, every cramp satisfying this undying thirst, is but a moment of relief in a multitude of despair. You urge it to fill you up, transcend every boundary, penetrate every pore till all the shades of your rainbow are colored in hues of grey. There are lights beyond the door, and you can see them when they think you aren’t looking.

Fragmented recollections came to her mind, the middle aged couple and their baby in his pram; the way they looked at him – a moment so intimate, so closed to the world it embarrassed her to watch them with the most benevolent kind of longing in her eyes. The affection that she would die for right now. The pair of humans leaning against each other against the Metro door, reminding her of their days and encounters with the orthodox class of the so-called “metropolitan city”. Bunch of stoned youngsters, high as hell and yet laughing, unbothered about the world around staring at them. The woman carrying grocery bags weighing more than herself. The feel of his fingers on hers, like an ink pen on parchment paper. His fingernails marking her skin, leaving little scars each with their own story to tell. The cards in red and pink, which now lay torn in half under the mattress of her bedroom. The creepily addictive taste of bile mixed with her own blood. Words she had almost let slip, words that still loomed heavy in the air between them whenever their worlds overlapped. Cappuccino with fudge, valium with water. Arbitrary snapshots in time, untouched by Photoshop, haphazardly pasted together to form some semblance of a collage far from beautiful.

She looks as the blinking light of her doorbell, and runs barefoot over the broken glass pieces, in hope to find him there, only to find a letter which said- “I hate you and the time I spent with you.”