When The World Blacked Out February 11, 2012Posted by Akriti Bahal in Anger, Feelings, Heartbreaks, Humaneness, Life, Love, Sad, Struggle.
It’s strange how, sometimes, the saying- कभी कभी अपने भी पराये हो जाते हैं, begins to fit perfectly into the pits of your life.
Wondering whether humans are programmed to be impertinent animals or if humaneness actually exists, I go through conflicting thoughts within myself. Period.
Immense pain suddenly fills my soul, as I sit in the class enduring every tiny fleck of it. Counting every minute as it passes, I curse, as there are still three hours to go before I can rush home. Wondering if I’d be able to tolerate more, and further contemplating if I’d be able to reach home safely; I gather strength, bring in courage seeing that at least I have someone sitting beside me who’d make sure I land home safely. Someone I can rely on.
I tell my friend, “I’m having terrible pain. I don’t know how I’d be able to attend it for the complete time.”
“Tell Sir, go out and take a medicine”, I get a reply.
“No medicine helps me! I’ll bear it till the end somehow.” I try to tolerate the pain as it intensifies.
I, somehow, managed to hold the pain till the terminal, as the class ends. In hopes that my friend would care for my condition, I hoped he’d sternly offer to drop me home making sure I’m safe. Just to make sure I don’t black out and fall somewhere in between, in the route. But, the air abruptly darkens and a skirmish breaks out between us and results in criticism and- in the opposite. Unable to bear it more, I decide to go home on my own, covering the one and half hour long journey completely on my own, with this pain; though inside me I knew it would be really tough and still hoped for some help.
To my surprise, the very next moment my friend rushed his car past me, rushed it towards his home and I was left standing there all alone.
I gathered strength, and began walking towards the Metro Station, now the pain hitting my back as well. Amid my entire journey, I tried to fool the black outs and the dizziness many times, when finally they took over.
I tripped down with black out at the Inderlok Metro Station, the crowd suffocating me. I didn’t know whom to call, I didn’t know how to assemble myself again, I just wanted someone to make me sit. Everything was just black, I could hear voices which seemed like screeches. Chaos. More suffocation.
When finally, someone stepped in to help me, to take me to the bench and offer me with water. Within few moments, I could breathe again, I could see again. The air seemed to clear a little. There was still pain, though, but I felt better as oxygen rushed into my lungs. I called my Dad and finally, reached home.
Today, I was scared. Really scared, when alone.
I don’t know who helped me, I wasn’t in my senses, but whoever did, I’m really thankful. I really needed it.
In the same day, I experienced two paradoxical feelings about humans- कभी कभी अपने भी तुम्हे अकेला छोड़ देते हैं, और कभी कभी पराये भी तुमारी मदद करने के लिए आगे आ जाते हैं |
Still lying in pain weakening all my limbs, I wonder whether it’s selfishness or selflessness that will overpower if I began to estimate.
Well whatever it be, I learnt a lesson on promise day- Not to rely on anyone except your family, at least they’ll make sure you are always safe.
*Promise Day- Ironical*